Myth: Battered women are masochistic.
Fact: There are a host of reasons that women stay in an abusive situation such as fear of further abuse;
economic dependence; belief in love, marriage, and family, etc. Loving the pain inflicted upon them
is not one of the reasons why they stay.
Myth: The battered woman deserves to be beaten.
Fact: A woman does not cause battering, although she may trigger it. The batterer acts of his own volition,
consciously expresses his rage violently upon another human being, and has within himself the power to
refrain from battering the woman.
Myth: Police can protect the battered woman.
Fact: Too often police dismiss complaints of battering based on a desire not to interfere in another man's
home, belief that a wife deserved what she got, or fear of personal injury in a domestic dispute.
Myth: Battered women are uneducated and have few job skills.
Fact: Battered women can be found among all socio-economic levels and in all occupations.
Myth: Once a battered woman, always a battered woman.
Fact: Women who receive counseling / supportive services are less likely to accept abuse from their current
partner or to choose another abusive partner.
Myth: The batterer is never a loving partner.
Fact: During the calm / honeymoon stage a man can be very loving and caring, showering his partner with
affection. The batterer is frequently described by the victim as a good father and a considerate partner,
especially in the calm / honeymoon stage.
Myth: A wife batterer also beats his children.
Fact: Not necessarily. Either partner may actively abuse their children. In many cases, even though the
children are not the intended victims, they may suffer accidental injury or emotional trauma caused by
the abuse between their parents.
Myth: Once a batterer, always a batterer.
Fact: With therapeutic intervention, batterers can discover their excessive needs for power and control and
learn appropriate responses to anger and stress.
Myth: Batterers are violent in all their relationships.
Fact: Most of the men who abuse their wives or girlfriends are not violent outside the relationship.
Myth: Batterers are unsuccessful and lack resources to cope with the world.
Fact: The population of batterers cuts across all socio-economic lines.
Myth: Batterers will cease their violence when they get married.
Fact: Among women who reported violence in their pre-marital relationships, every one said that the rate
of abuse escalated after marriage.
Myth: During a woman's pregnancy, the abusive man treats her with tenderness and love.
Fact: The general view of our society is that the conception of a child strengthens the love bond between
man and woman. A batterer, however, very often begins his violent attacks during his partner's first
pregnancy. The fear of losing her total attention and love, often provokes the insecure batterer to strike
out against the "threat" of a baby.
Myth: Children need their father even if he is violent.
Fact: Women sometimes do stay in violent relationships "for the sake of the children." The fact is that
children say they would rather live with one parent than in a violent home. If not separated from a
violent father, children often repeat the observed behaviors in their own adult relationships thus
perpetuating the cycle of violence.
Myth: Religious beliefs will prevent battering.
Fact: Women and men without religious preferences are more likely to use violence, but religious
convictions or strict Biblical interpretations are often an excuse for violence.
Myth: External factors that place stress on a marriage - such as financial difficulties, moving, having a
baby, or on-the-job problems - are what cause a person to batter his or her spouse.
Fact: Nearly every adult faces those stressful situations at some time, but most people deal with their
problems without resorting to abusing a family member. If the predisposition toward violence exists,
external pressures such as those listed above may certainly precipitate abuse.
Myth: A woman who is occasionally slapped by her husband is in no danger of real harm because, while he
may continue to slap her, he will do nothing any worse.
Fact: A pattern of battering that goes unchecked usually becomes both more frequent and more severe. A
man who begins by slapping his wife is likely to progress to more prolonged battering episodes, and often
will eventually begin using a weapon instead of just his hands.
Myth: Many men cannot be held responsible for violence against their wives because they are drunk and out
of control at the time.
Fact: While alcohol or drugs are involved in a significant number of battering relationships, alcohol may
unconsciously be used as an excuse by the husband (i.e. he may actually drink before beating his wife so
that he will not have to take responsibility for his actions, which in turn will lessen his guilt later for having
abused the one he loves).
Myth: A woman who is battered can end the violence against her by moving out of the house, separating
from her husband.
Fact: The violence often becomes worse when a woman tries to escape an abusive husband. The husband
may go the great extremes to track down his wife and continue to harass and beat her.
